continuance

Mentally, I want to be somebody. Physically, I feel like nobody. Emotionally, I cannot find motivation to become somebody. Everyday I wake up, hoping my life will become new & improved. I really don't know what's next. Everything seems to be monotonous, & ongoing with no future hope of change. I want change in my life. I just don't know where to begin. After years of routine, with minor breaks of indulgence, everything goes back to the way it used to be. I don't know how I can handle things going on to be of the norm. I want to be famed, successful, acknowledged. I know I have it in me, but then how come I cannot find the strength to let it out. I can't make decisions, I'm insatiable. What's next?

why not

I cannot trust. Anyone. I can't even trust myself. Why is this so difficult for me to understand? I am happy. But all this happiness is so foreign to me. I'm starting to doubt its legitimacy. Where can I even begin. When you doubt something, you want to believe it's true. You want to believe it is really there. But what if it's not true? What if I'm just blinded. I hate to not know what is going on...but sometimes that is the only way to be happy. Or is it?

flightless

After the weekend getaway to another habitat, much unlike my own...I am beginning to learn more about myself. I know my likes, dislikes, interests, etc. But I myself cannot understand the complexities of my own mind. Do I TRY to understand simplicity or detailed criticisms? I criticize, but at the same time I break down details into simplicities that are easier to comprehend. Can we be both complex, and simple? Because, we are-naturally of the human nature. When I look at the redwoods and sequoias, they are, simply, large. However, each piece of bark on their trunks holds a piece of history. Simplicity & complexity, hand in hand? Love is simple, and love is complex. Mentalities are no different.




Evan says "Hi."
Love him<3

l'humanité

Respect life.






Affirm humanity.

P.S.

I haven't been so happy in awhle. I think that things are just starting to fall in place. After such a long time of transition....It's good to know my satisfaction is at its peak. Aaahh. Today, after a short bike ride around my block, I retreated to a peaceful elementary school and rested under some trees. I heard so many beautiful sounds during my short mental getaway. It truly felt like the perfect summer afternoon, with one exception of someone ;]. I wish everyday could be an escape into bliss, then I'm welcoming myself into the arms of mother nature.

Realization

This morning, I woke up & noticed something strange. It's June, & the sky is overcast. It's 70 degrees outside. Really? REALLY? I was planning on enjoying summer sun & getting worn out by the dreaded heat, sadly. Every past summer I lazily woke up at an odd time, like an animal with no means of enjoying the outdoors in itself. Now I step outside with the chilly breeze on my brow, feeling of a planet in need of love. The phrase is overused by millions of teens in dire need of a purpose, love our Earth. Take the simplicity of a magical summer bike ride, foiled by the unfamiliar overcast of California. Our world needs love.

Chinese tea

Aaaaahh. Is there not a sense of renewal in the air? =]

Dear world,

I have embraced my feelings. I'm satisfied. I'm happy. I'm content. Thank you very much, optimism.