lovely

Beauty is everywhere. Beauty occupies the crevices of a rancid dumpster. Beauty occupies the prickly hairs on spiders' legs. Beauty is overlooked often. Today, where can i find it? Everywhere? But then again, how do i define beauty. I define beauty as unsurpassed. Beauty is love. Love is beauty. It lasts. Beauty lasts, despite rigid treatments for it's continuance. It lasts.

Lovers

We Don't Have To Love. I wish we had lovers we didn't have to love. Love is...so......presumptous. Agh. I wish i didn't have to love. I love too much. Here's my love. Now go light it on fire and stomp on it.

note to self

ridicule, embarrassment, harassment...it's of the norm. but are we all of the norm? i don't feel this things quite often as i should. where are my thoughts headed to next....i'm not ashamed of my wily thoughts. i would put them out there. but i can't, really. or else i would be ridiculed, embarrassed, harassed. i don't feel those emotions. i feel emotions that i shouldn't feel. i think thoughts i shouldn't think. how do you escape that?

tiki

you are SUCH a good friend.

I feel

i'm at a constant war with myself. i'm sure there's no drama going on in my world. but inside my brain there's a whole mess of nonsense that i wish i could clear up. no one knows about it, but i'm just making it worse every time i think about it. i wish there was someway to clear your thoughts & restart them. i'm getting annoyed with people, & they don't know it. which means i'm getting annoyed with myself for not telling them. since i speak my thoughts, this makes no sense. i'm making no sense. but logically i should tell them, since that would be my first instinct. however, no one can judge my thoughts. but myself. & i'm the worst judge...

raging

What do I want to be when I grow up?

here's my shpeal.

i haven't been on in awhile, i'm aware of that. it's come to my attention that i have no means to be here. i have so many thoughts swirling about that i cannot contain them in a single, never ending blog. as strange as that sounds, it's the only way to describe why i'm not posting. there are many ideas that pop into my brain. i wish i could share them with the world..but if i did i'm afraid there would be no sensible way to reveal them. they're not secrets, i promise. i don't keep secrets. i'm just not motivated. that's all. my audience is myself & maybe a few others. there is no way for me to approach my own thoughts & then compact them into a blurb of three hundred words for the world to observe. of course, now that i'm writing this i'm thinking at this very moment about how much i love writing. it wouldn't matter if my audience is myself. words can describe so many different emotions & feelings, it's hard to resist the temptation. tempted to write? bite me.