tiki

you are SUCH a good friend.

I feel

i'm at a constant war with myself. i'm sure there's no drama going on in my world. but inside my brain there's a whole mess of nonsense that i wish i could clear up. no one knows about it, but i'm just making it worse every time i think about it. i wish there was someway to clear your thoughts & restart them. i'm getting annoyed with people, & they don't know it. which means i'm getting annoyed with myself for not telling them. since i speak my thoughts, this makes no sense. i'm making no sense. but logically i should tell them, since that would be my first instinct. however, no one can judge my thoughts. but myself. & i'm the worst judge...

raging

What do I want to be when I grow up?

here's my shpeal.

i haven't been on in awhile, i'm aware of that. it's come to my attention that i have no means to be here. i have so many thoughts swirling about that i cannot contain them in a single, never ending blog. as strange as that sounds, it's the only way to describe why i'm not posting. there are many ideas that pop into my brain. i wish i could share them with the world..but if i did i'm afraid there would be no sensible way to reveal them. they're not secrets, i promise. i don't keep secrets. i'm just not motivated. that's all. my audience is myself & maybe a few others. there is no way for me to approach my own thoughts & then compact them into a blurb of three hundred words for the world to observe. of course, now that i'm writing this i'm thinking at this very moment about how much i love writing. it wouldn't matter if my audience is myself. words can describe so many different emotions & feelings, it's hard to resist the temptation. tempted to write? bite me.